Jokes

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. When a cell phone on a bench rings, a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk.... MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes." WOMAN: I am at the mall and found a beautiful leather coat. It's $1,000. Can I buy it?" MAN: "OK, go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2002 models. I saw one I really liked." MAN: How much?" WOMAN: $60,000. MAN: "For that price I want it with all the options." WOMAN: "Great! One more thing. ... The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're only asking $450,000." MAN: "Well, then go ahead and buy it but just offer $420,000." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!" MAN: "Bye, I love you too." The man hangs up. The other men are looking at him in astonishment Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

Jokes

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when you father caught us in the back seat of my car?" "Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues..."Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years". "I remember that too", she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today!"

Jokes

A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench, passionately kissing. "Why don't you do that?" said the wife. "Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!

Jokes

The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager kissing his secretary. He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?" The manager replied: "No, sir, this I do free of charge."

Jokes

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

Jokes

What is the intresting thing in tom n jerry..? . . . . Pura din nange ghumenge , or jab nahane ke liye jayenge to swimming suit pehan ke jayenge !:-D

Jokes

Dhoni is 29 yrs n wife Sakshi is 21 yrs.. . but stil Dhoni says . we were school friends. . Crazy fellow! . 10th me 1st std ki ladki ko line marta tha saala !

Jokes

Effect of IPL .. (in a maternity hospital)Child's father : Doc, is it a gal or a boy??Doc : Well, first of all, Congratulations , it's a citi moment of success, so u can relax and take a max mobile time out. u know, I almost dropped the kid on the ground, but then the nurse took a Karbonn kamaal catch and the kid is alive.. n to ur question of the kid being a gal or a boy, well all I can say is, he is a DLF Maximum..:P:P

Jokes

Height Of Insult : . . Guide : I welcome u all to niagra falls. this is the world's largest waterfall and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high that even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard! . . . . . . Now may I Request the LADIES to keep quiet so that we can hear The Niagra Falls..!!

Jokes

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went 2 her place & made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep & woke up at 8 pm. The man hurriedly dressed & told his lover 2 take his shoes outside & rub them in the grass & dirt. He then put on his shoes & drove home. 'Where have u been?' his wife demanded. 'I can't lie 2u,' he replied, 'I'm havin an affair wit my secretary. We had sex all afternoon. She looked down at his shoes & said: 'You are lying bastard! You've been playing golf! Moral: Women are women. Truth or lies, they'll never believe u !

Jokes

Lady On Phone.. Hi Sir, I want To Meet & Talk To u. U Are The father Of 1 Of My Kids. Man Stunnd...Omg! R U Riya No Anu? No Pari? No Jasi? No Lady in confusion No Sir.. I am The Class Teacher Of Ur Son.

Coool

Wife : I hate that beggar. Husband : Why? Wife : Rascal, yesterday I gave him food today he gave me a book "How to Cook" !!

Jokes

Wife : I hate that beggar. Husband : Why? Wife : Rascal, yesterday I gave him food today he gave me a book "How to Cook" !!

Jokes

Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.

Jokes

Wife : I hate that beggar. Husband : Why? Wife : Rascal, yesterday I gave him food today he gave me a book "How to Cook" !!

Jokes

Doctor: Well, I have good news and bad news. Patient: Go with the good news first. Doctor: You have 24 hours to live. Patient: What?! How about the bad news? Doctor: I forgot to call you yesterday.

Jokes

2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & returned back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.

Jokes

Dr: Do exercise daily for good health Boy: sir i play football cricket and tennis daily. Dr: how long do you play? Boy : until d battery in my mobile goes down. =D

Jokes

Cat: How old are u? Elephant: 5 years old Cat: But u look so big Elephant: I am a complan boy Elephant: How old u are Cat: 30 years old Elephant:but u look very small . . . . Cat:Ponds Age Miracle

Jokes

LKG Teacher: If U tell 1-10 without any mistake den I will give U one kiss. LKG Boy: If I count 1-100, Do U have any better Package....!!!